The many shifts of Mothering
My mothering journey did not begin the way I once imagined. Over time, I’ve come to understand mothering as essential labor, radical healing, and a form of social justice, work that holds the power to transform the self.
I gave birth to my little one just one week before the world shut down. At first, it was COVID that weighed heavy, shaping every challenge of early motherhood. Later came other reckonings; surviving domestic violence, breaking cycles of generational trauma, and discovering sound medicina and rooting in the power of community.
There is much more to write about these beginnings, but for now, I focus on what I’ve come to call the many shifts that mothering presents each day.
As a scholar-practitioner (and perhaps thanks to my Virgo Rising), I felt the need to name what I was experiencing as a new mami. I tried calling it ritual, routine, or flow—but none of those words fit quite right. The word shifts captured it best.
Shifts also resonated deeply with what Shefali Tsabary writes in The Conscious Parent:
“Few of us are blessed to have been raised by parents who are in touch with their inner joy. Those children who are so blessed grow up with a lightness of spirit and an intuitive trust that life is good and wise. They know that life isn’t to be feared, but embraced. These children watch their parents harness a connection to themselves that transcends the physical, and in this way learn to harness their own unique connection to their source.” (p. 139)
So I had shifts and mi gente who have helped me in these shifts. I learned to value the first shift which was me time. Even if it was just 30 minutes before the day gets started, I wake up before my lil one, before la casita event awakes to do what I need. That is when I can practice my flow; writing, packaging orders, a quick read or tarot reading from my fav, it was Lorena time. ME SHIFT.
The second shift is the wake of the lil the LUZ SHIFT, and mentally getting myself ready for the unexpected. The sleepy eyes, or hesitation to put on shoes. This second shift is the most unpredictable, but also the most precious.
Third shift is my longest shift, the WERK SHIFT. Getting myself settled into my work flow collaborating with others, putting out small fires, connecting as best I can with my work colleagues, and pouring into students.
Fourth shift depends on the days, but often I label it as GROWTH SHIFT, allowing me to join a community social media group that I belong to or do my YWCA Survivor Support Group calls.
Fifth shift is the RESTORE SHIFT. Which is usually a quick clean up of casita areas, bath times and reading books for mimis.
GRACIAS GOD shift, is sharing gratitude for the day, for the community the helps to create peaceful moments of support or being creative in the oficina for the Doctorahood community, creating new merch ideas, new events and connecting back to me.
This isn’t my everyday reality, but these shifts remind me that it’s okay if I can’t give my all to each one. Some days I may not reach 100%, and that’s enough. Tomorrow will come, and the shifts of mothering will still be there, waiting with patience.
Be well,
Doctora Lorena
